Tag Archive
Why I Fired My Secretary
“Two weeks ago,” I said, “was my forty-fifth birthday and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into the kitchen for breakfast knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say ‘Happy Birthday’ and probably have a present for me. She didn’t even say ‘Good Morning’ let alone say ‘Happy Birthday’.”
“I said… »
感嘆男人
Forwarded to me from a friend via email and I guess it’s a good one to share with you:
感嘆男人 :
有才華的長的醜, 長的帥的掙錢少 , 掙錢多的不顧家, 顧家的沒出息 ,
有出息的不浪漫, 會浪漫的靠不住 , 靠的住的又窩囊 .
感嘆女人 :
漂亮的不下廚房, 下廚房的不溫柔 , 溫柔的沒主見, 有主見的沒女人味,
有女人味的亂花錢 , 不亂花錢的不時尚 , 時尚的不放心, 放心的沒法看.
老婆是電視 , 情人是手機, 在家看電視 , 出門帶手機, 破產賣電視 ,發財換手機,
偶爾看電視, 整天玩手機 , 電視終身不收費, 手機欠費就停機 .
做女人一定要經得起謊言 , 受得起敷衍, 忍得住欺騙, 忘得了諾言… »
How To Give A Goodnight Kiss
This is so funny … thanks to Andy for telling me about this site. You may also like How To Be The Perfect Boyfriend / Girlfriend.
VideoJug: How To Give A Goodnight… »
A classic exchange on Craigslist
My good friend Andy rarely forwards me anything, but I don’t think anyone could resist for this one, including me. The following exchange took place on Craigslist – what a classic!
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate… »
You know you’re from Hong Kong when …
Found from this this Facebook group, here are the ones that are most amusing to me:
You tip only 10%.
You have many credit cards.
You always have the latest mobile phone.
You study engineering, business management or law.
If someone buys something, you brag about how its cheaper in Hong Kong.
You always leave your shoes at the door.
Chinese food… »
神奇的厠紙
轉載自友人Ashwin的電郵：
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: “If you want your Breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub … »
I’ll Get The Job Done!
Joke about Donald Tsang’s campaign slogan. Thanks to Peggy for sharing.
曾特首角逐連任
搵左「我會做好呢份工！」做競選口號
如果換轉其他行業或者其他人
應該會咁講：
地盤佬：「我會鑽好呢個窿！」
氣功師：「我會發好呢次功！」
八達通公司：「我會整好八達通！」
天文台：「我會測好呢個風！」
整容醫生：「我會隆好呢個胸！」
鐘錶師：「我會整好呢個鐘！」
廚師：「我會爆好呢碟蔥！」
麻將腳：「我會碰好呢隻東！」
xx 公司的專業員工：「我會五點九就鬆 … …」
More interpretations of this… »
You Know You’re Living In 2007 When …
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch… »
Pregnancy Pain
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labour pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of… »
World Cup Final
A man has great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
“No,” he says. “The seat is empty.”
“This is incredible!” says the other man.
“Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the… »